Chaos and uncertainty feel like the primary themes of 2020 so far, perhaps followed by secondary themes of loss, lessons, and change.
Anyone else ready to jump ahead to 2021? I know it’s been a tough year so far, yet there is also an opportunity in all of the challenges.
Please stay with me…
Here’s the thing…chaos and uncertainty have a purpose – to CREATE something NEW.
I promise, that process will happen no matter how you show up for it.
The good news is that you have a choice. You can participate in creating something new that you choose – OR – you can wait it out, and adapt to what gets created for you, by someone or something else.
Let me explain…
The Nature of Chaos
Chaos is an inherent part of life and the Universe. It’s a part of Mother Nature.
Not to be cliche, but the caterpillar and butterfly is a perfect example of this. Before a caterpillar can turn into a butterfly, it goes into the isolation of the cocoon, where it literally breaks down and disintegrates before it is reborn into a butterfly. The cocoon holds the space for the chaos of transformation – a process of death and rebirth.
We see this in the forest as well. Humans often view forest fires as a destructive threat because of the damage left behind. However, fire and destruction are also important to the health of certain ecosystems. In fact, there are seed pods that remain dormant until the heat of fire cracks them open to create new growth. Click here for more information on How Trees Survive and Thrive After Fire.
Chaos is a necessary part of the creative process of life. It dismantles the the old (past), and break us out of the the known and familiar (certain). In a way, it provides an ending that pushes us into the territory of the unknown.
Here’s the thing…to create anything new, we have to step into the unknown, which is a place of great uncertainty. Chaos pushes us into that void, and the fertile ground for new growth.
Without chaos, we simply keep perpetuating the same past, over and over again.
I’m sorry to break it to you…but that is not the nature of life. Sure we can cling to the past – the known and familiar – but it makes things harder in the long run. Life is energy, and energy is dynamic, ever-changing, and creative. To resist this process is to suffocate the very nature of life.
Our Need for Certainty
However, we all need some certainty in our lives. Certainty provides us with an internal sense of safety, and that calms our nervous systems in a stressful world. And for those of us with a history of trauma, or immense uncertainty in childhood, it can be also be an important anchor that keeps us grounded, centered, and sane. We need certainty to keep our rational brains online.
Yet, in an uncertain world, it can be hard to find certainty in anything outside of us – a job, relationship, finances, or even our health.
Therefore, it’s important to cultivate certainty through things we can control, like structure in our daily routines and inner resources like self-empowerment. Trust me, cultivating certainty you have control over can go a long way to reducing fear and anxiety.
For example, go to bed and get up at the same time each day, shower and get dressed like it’s a normal work day, eat your meals at regular times, schedule your day even though you may be out of work, or are managing kids at home. In addition, work on mastering your mindset and energy through meditation, exercise, or other intentional practices. Your kids will benefit as well.
The Power of Uncertainty
When uncertainty enters our lives, like the kind we all face today with COVID-19, it is totally normal (and appropriate) to go into a fear and survival response. However, remember, there is also creative power in the uncertainty. In fact, it is only through the uncertainty of the unknown that we have the opportunity to create anything new.
In addition, uncertainty is a powerful teacher for critical skills that are needed for success in any area of life – trust, self-empowerment, mindset and emotional mastery, adaptability, creativity, and resilience. As a result, I think of chaos and uncertainty as a training ground for success (especially if you want to be an entrepreneur or business owner)!
The truth is, we don’t really grow or develop our strengths or creative power by staying in the comfort of the known and certain.
If you think about the times in your life when you have grown the most, I bet you’ll discover you also confronted great chaos and uncertainty. Whether it was losing your job, experiencing a painful breakup or divorce, or a difficult health or financial crisis…the greatest opportunity for growth likely came through the tension of chaos and uncertainty.
I know it sucks. Trust me, I really do get it. Yet, I’ve been through this process enough to know that chaos and uncertainty can serve to help me, not hurt me. As a result, I’ve learned to welcome uncertainty as an opportunity to develop myself more fully, and practice being a creator in my life.
Healthy Fear vs Unhealthy Fear
Even though chaos and uncertainty are innate in life, fear will always be present, because fear is innate in us. There is a part of our survival brain that always fears the unknown. Therefore, it’s important to expect fear, and learn how to work with it so it doesn’t keep you stuck.
First, it’s important to differentiate between healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Healthy fear keeps us safe – physically, mentally and emotionally. In the case of COVID-19, healthy fear urges us to practice isolation and social distancing, to frequently wash our hands and sanitize our environment, and to stock up on food and supplies so we can avoid going out more than is needed. It pushes us to boost our immune systems, get plenty of rest, and drink lots of water. Healthy fear is about awareness, discernment, mitigating and managing risk, planning and preparing for the challenges we may face.
However, unhealthy fear shows up in panic, hysteria, catastrophe thinking, conspiracy theories, and negative rumination. Unhealthy fear keeps us stuck and it doesn’t serve us. It’s paralyzing, and there is zero creative power in it. In unhealthy fear, you literally get stuck in a fight, flight or freeze response, which hijacks your brain and your nervous system.
Unhealthy fear will make you sick because it greatly weakens your immune system. Further, the constant flood of stress hormones pushes you into a trauma loop that negatively changes your brain, increases inflammation, and fuels illness and disease in the body.
If you find yourself stuck in unhealthy fear, it’s so important that you get help, find ways to calm your nervous system, and practice radical self-care. For more insight and help on this topic check out Radical Self-Care and Transformation.
How to Work with Chaos and Uncertainty
We are in unprecedented times with COVID-19, and healthy fear is a completely normal and appropriate response. However, it’s up to each of us to decide how we want to show up and participate in the process of change…because our world is changing – individually and collectively. It’s easy to feel like we don’t have any control or any choice in the matter. We can’t control the virus, government restrictions, job loss, or shortages of toilet paper.
However, there are things you can control, and that is where invite you to focus your attention, energy and resources. Eventually, this crisis will end. How you show up now, and the choices you make, will determine what life looks like for you on the other side.
We all have 2 choices:
- Victim of Circumstance – This is a passive choice in which you decide to simply “wait it out”. Many people will choose to stay here, and that’s ok. No judgment! We all start here, especially as we try to process all that’s happening in our lives and in the world. However, it’s not an ideal place to stay over the long-term because it offers no opportunity to create your own destiny.
- Empowered Creation – This is the most intentional and active choice, in which you embrace chaos and uncertainty as an opportunity to grow, and create something new within yourself and your life. Here’s how this looks:
4 Steps of Empowered Creation:
- Clarity – Start by getting clear on who you want to be, and what you want your life to look like a year from now. I know this is hard in times of uncertainty because the survival brain says, “I’ll take whatever I can get”. However, try to step out of fear by engaging in your imagination.
- Plan – Create and implement a plan to help you achieve your goals. Layout the steps you need to take now to get you to where you want to be. Give yourself a timeline and a schedule.
- Action – Commit to taking daily action! Put it on your schedule, make it a part of your daily routine. Small actions taken consistently over time can yield big results. And when fear and anxiety emerge, focus on your daily action and the future you are creating.
- Accountability – Recruit an accountability partner because the best results happen when we share our plan with others and get support. Call on your best friend, partner, or colleague, and hold each other accountable. Set up daily or weekly checkins to support one another and make it fun.
Here are just two examples to illustrate the difference between victim of circumstance and empowered creation:
Physical Health
In response to COVID-19, healthy fear informs us that it is highly likely we will be exposed to this virus. That’s just reality. If you choose victim of circumstance, and you watch Netflix all day while numbing yourself with sugar or alcohol, your body simply won’t have the resources needed to fight the virus, and you may struggle to recover as a result.
However, if you choose empowered creation, you take action each to get healthy and boost your immunity as much as possible. You exercise daily, eat healthy, drink lots of water, avoid sugar, and prioritize sleep. I also recommend daily meditations proven to strengthen the mind and body. (I love Dr. Joe Dispenza meditations – check him out!) If you do catch the virus, you will likely recover much faster and with greater ease.
Money and Career
If the current pandemic results in a job loss, a victim of circumstance may collect unemployment and just wait it out until businesses reopen. It’s a wait until things get better mindset. Meanwhile, you lose the opportunity to acquire new skills, or look for an even better job than what you had before.
An empowered creation approach would involve time for self-reflection to get clear on the job or business you desire to have, rather than going back to what was, or taking what you can get. Further, you’d take this time to learn the skills needed to land that dream job – or – you’d dedicate your time and energy to creating the business you’ve always dreamed off.
My Approach
Personally, I will choose empowered creation every time. However, first, I accept and allow myself to be with the fear that emerges in times of chaos and uncertainty. I don’t judge it, but rather welcome it with compassion, and allow myself to feel it. Denying the fear will only make it stronger. I FEEL it, and then I give myself strong limits around.
In fact, just this week I was laid off from a great job that contributed over 50% of my total income. I gave myself exactly 48 hours to feel the fear and anxiety. I was compassionate and loving with myself, allowed myself to retreat, and just be. Then, when that time was up, I got to work.
Rather than waiting for the business to reopen, I started channeling my energy into creating the content, programs, and resources I’ve been wanting to create in my own business. I’m focusing on building the foundation for where I want to be 12 months from now, rather than waiting to see what happens. And…I am practicing radical self-care to protect my body, mind, and soul with healthy food, plenty of water and rest, yoga and meditation. I also choose to read the news, rather than watch it, to avoid getting sucked into fear.
I’ve chosen to embrace chaos and uncertainty as an opportunity, and I ask myself, “How is this happening FOR me?”
To get you started on the transition into empowered creation, here are some reflection questions to consider. I invite you to put on your favorite music, light some candles, and get your journal out.
What does this time of chaos and uncertainty have to teach me? Imagine it is a lesson from the Universe, what is your personal lesson? What is our collective lesson?
What do I value most in my life? How do I want to honor those things going forward?
What needs to change in my life? Is there anything I need to let go of?
What can I control in this time of uncertainty? How can create certainty for myself and my family?
How do I want to show up for myself and my family?
What kind of role model do I want to be for the people in my life?
What do I want my kids to learn about how to deal with chaos and uncertainty?
Who do I want to become through this experience?
What do I want my life to look like in 9-12 months? (Focus on things you have the power to influence and control. This is not about fantasy thinking, like winning the lottery. Be realistic.)
How can I show up proactively in this experience, rather than reactively? What can I DO each day to take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
I hope you found this helpful. And, please stay tuned as I will have more resources coming out to support you over the coming days and weeks, especially around dealing with fear and anxiety.
If there is anything in particular you’d like me to cover, please email me directly at Michelle.bodymindspirit@gmail.com.
In the meantime, click here to book a complimentary breakthrough session so I can personally support you.
Wishing you grace, ease, and creativity in this time of change. Please stay safe, healthy and sane!
With love and gratitude, Michelle