Have you felt a sense of overwhelm lately? If so, you are NOT alone!
Over the last few months, I have witnessed an increasing pattern of overwhelm happening in the lives of my clients, loved ones, community and in my own life. Once overwhelm happens it can feel like a runaway train to exhaustion, burnout, and hopelessness.
Even if things seem to be going well in your individual life, just reading the news can activate a sense of overwhelm. It feels like we just move from one tragedy to another.
Further, it can be hard to avoid overwhelm in an increasingly demanding, complex and stressful world.
So today, I thought it’d be helpful to share my personal tips for overcoming overwhelm so you can hop off that runaway train as quickly as possible.
What happens in overwhelm
First, it’s important to understand what’s happening to your body and mind when overwhelm takes hold.
Overwhelm is a state of excessive stress that pushes the nervous system from a state of fight or flight to a breaking point. It’s debilitating. As stress builds up in they system too quickly or for too long, the body moves into a defensive state releasing stress hormones and pushing blood to your muscles and away from your organs. This leads to increased muscle tension, digestive issues and shortness of breath. The body is in a heightened sense of danger and survival. It can be debilitating and paralyzing.
The brain gets hijacked by the limbic system, the part that manages survival. This takes resources away from the prefrontal cortex, the creative problem solving part of the brain. Further, the limbic system then sends additional signals of danger to the body instructing it release more stress hormones. In addition, you begin to assign value and meaning to the overwhelm, which keeps you focused on it and stuck in it, fueling more overwhelm. Eventually, you end up feeling powerless over it.
This creates a feedback loop between the brain and the body, the body and the brain, that becomes self-perpetuating. To overcome overwhelm, you have to become aware of this physical – mental – emotional loop so you can begin to disrupt it.
Signs of Overwhelm
Of course, it’s ideal if you can mitigate the build up of stress before overwhelm takes hold. This is easiest when overwhelm is the result of too much stress for too long. However, when the stress is the result of too much too fast, overwhelm can hit suddenly and without warning.
To help you manage overwhelm, here are just a few warning signs to look out for:
- Increasing muscle tension, headaches, and pain in your body with little to no relief
- New or increased digestive issues
- Increasing pressure and demands on your time, energy, and resources in which you feel you can’t keep up
- Emotional and physical exhaustion
- Difficulty managing your daily tasks
- Inability to problem solve or see new possibilities
- Mentally ruminating on fear, worry, anxiety and/or the negative aspects of your life
- Lashing out, acting out, disconnecting or shutting down in your relationships
- Feeling stuck in a negative emotional state, or a build up of emotions, that feels too big to manage
How to stop the Overwhelm Loop
Whether you find yourself in full-blown overwhelm or quickly approaching it, the following actions can help you disrupt the vicious overwhelm loop:
- The first and most important step is to take a break. Stop doing! You have to give yourself a time out before you can overcome overwhelm. Do not listen to any voice in your head that tells you that you just have to push through. During times of overwhelm you actually have to stop doing. Trust me, once you get out the of the overwhelm loop and start taking action again, you will be way more effective and efficient.
- Get into your body and allow yourself to FEEL your feelings without any judgement, analysis or story. This is about being present to what is and where you feel it. Find a way to move through your feelings…cry, scream, journal, breathe, tap, or just be with what is without trying to change it.
- Regulate your nervous system. One of my favorite ways to do this is to put one hand on my heart center and one hand on my lower belly while I focus on slowing down the breath. Bring the breath into both hands. While in this pose, give yourself a little pep talk. For example, “I am safe in this moment. I am ok. I will figure things out”, or “I am healing, learning and growing every day, I will be ok”. Following are some additional strategies you might want to explore for nervous system regulation:
- Take a walk in nature
- Walk barefoot in the grass or sand
- Orient yourself in your environment and in the present moment by connecting with the 5 senses – name what you see around you, hear, feel, sense, and taste.
- Co-regulate with another person – ask for a hug or support to talk things through. Make sure this is someone who is calm and relaxed and can hold a safe space for you.
- Next, I invite you to engage in a little adult play to turn on the creative problem solving part of the brain. According to Dr. Stuart Brown’s research on the neuroscience of adult play, it lights up the whole brain which activates creativity and problem solving as well as psychological and emotional resiliency.
So what constitutes adult play? According to Brown, play can be anything that we voluntarily do for pure enjoyment. Further, when engaged in play, we lose a sense of time and self-consciousness, have the freedom to improvise, and want to continue out of desire. Therefore, play is subjective. For some, it may be engaging in something physical, for others it may be a creative pursuit or a relaxing activity. It’s up to you. I’d also like to add that from an energetic perspective, play is nourishing. It relieves stress and gives you energy.
Finding Solutions
Once you get out of the overwhelm loop, and have taken time to nourish yourself with some adult play, it’s time to re-evaluate the issues or things that were creating overwhelm and to find solutions.
Here are some questions to help you get started:
- What is really MOST important to deal with right now? Start here! Focus on finding solutions for the most important issues first.
- Where do you have power to DO something? Here’s a hint, you don’t have power over other people or what’s happening in the world. You only have power over you – your attitude, perceptions, behaviors, and actions.
- Where are you powerless over a situation or issue? Accept where you are powerless and focus on where you have power of choice and action.
- Who can you go to for support? This can be physical support (delegation) or mental, emotional or spiritual support. Ask for help! You were never meant to do it all alone.
- What can you delay?
- What can you let go of?
As humans our natural tendencies are often to avoid things that feel bad, like overwhelm, fear, grief, anger, etc. However, in doing so, we give those feelings more power over our lives. Getting out of the overwhelm loop, or any other negative emotional loop, requires the opposite approach – getting fully present to what is, feeling it all without judgment, and being proactive in moving through the experience rather that running away from it.
If you are navigating a season of overwhelm in your life, I invite you to give these strategies a try. They have been a life-saver for me lately. And, if you’d love more support in learning how to move through difficult experiences, stay tuned for a special announcement.